...a severely weakened team was soundly thrashed

An 0-11 scoreline does not fairly represent United’s superiority – it should have been 20. They currently top the division with 47 points, having scored 99 goals in 19 games. Against such powerful opponents, only the strongest Vets2 side could have offered serious resistance. Sadly, injuries and absences made this impossible and a severely weakened team was soundly thrashed.

In the first half, United scored three times while their goalkeeper did not once touch the ball, so one-sided was the game. After the interval, the floodgates opened. 4 or 5 goals were scored in as many minutes as Vets2 disintegrated in midfield, leaving the defence exposed. Thereafter, it was a rout.

Resistance was offered by Reynolds, playing in an unfamiliar outfield role, the goalkeeper Anderson(whose brave dive at a forward’s feet when the score was already 0-9 deserves a mention), and above all by McGrath, who played at sweeper and was almost single-handedly responsible for keeping the scoreline believable. For United, the game became an exercise in shooting practice. It was a blessed relief when the final whistle was blown.

After the game, it was revealed that Anderson had lost, in no particular order: any awareness of his whereabouts, his keys, his only-begotten son, his reason and the use of most of his body. But he made it to the bar for a well-deserved drink. And he probably made it into the record books as well. It would be good to know if any RBBFC side has ever lost by such a margin.

To concentrate on our own weaknesses, however, would be to deny the credit due to a very good side. United are strong, aggressive, quick and skillful and, above all, they pass the ball intelligently. They have match-winning forwards who work hard. And, as the saying goes, the centre-forward always knows where the goal is. We wish them the best of luck in their pursuit of the championship. We will be very glad to see the back of them – it was certainly all we saw on Saturday.