PREPARE FOR GLORY! RBBFC VETS2 vs FC IRLANDE April 11th – SCORE = 1-0 With so many enfeebled Vets2 players away having pedicures, tummy-tucks and other plastic surgery it was left to the "nine” to defend the honour of RBBFC against the entire massed ranks of the "Oirish”. Steve Maza in goal with Bas ten Holter, Scott Macdonald and Alex Knott in front of him, Paul Wrigley, Jeppe Rasumssen, Dave Leigh and Freddy Dehombreux in midfield, and Timme Dossing up front. What could this tiny band of warriors hope to achieve against overwhelming odds, other than to die with honour on the fields of Rosieres and avoid a 0-5 pasting?

PREPARE FOR GLORY! The "nine” as they shall henceforth be known faced a grim task. Short in defence, short in midfield and with only 1 up front it was a massive challenge. It was agreed at the start we would let them have the flanks and concentrate on limiting their chances in the box and for the opening 15 minutes we stuck to the task. They had a lot of the ball, but with the harrying tactics of Paul and Jeppe in central midfield and the solid wall of Scott, Bas and Alex at the back, we prevented them from mounting any real attacks on goal. Despite being outnumbered on the flanks, Dave and Freddy were battling hard to limit their ability to build anything significant. At the same time, any ball forward to Timme led to unfettered panic in the Irish defence as he constantly sought to take on their entire back four every time he received the ball.

After the opening 15 minutes we started to challenge them up front and create our own havoc in THEIR penalty area. Half chances for Timme followed (though the treacherous bounce of the Rosieres pitch was against us), and even a good chance for Dave Leigh coming in from the left to receive a pass (his ONLY pass) from Timme, on the left side of the penalty area only for Dave to just miss the left post… OK maybe a couple of yards wider than that… but this is Hollywood! Even the realistic photos (see left) showed how determined the Vets 2 were in the face of such odds (only a tiny amount of enhancement was allowed for the graphics).

PREPARE FOR GLORY! Half-time and we were happy with the performance, we were more than simply holding our own, and probably had the better scoring chances of the first half. Still we were wary that the "nine” would become weary in the second half against the full Irish side, and that we might pay for our eager efforts in the first half. Still, as the second half continued it was still very even and we continued to limit them to mere scraps with their own attacks. At the same time they were becoming ever more clumsy in defence forcing corners and free kicks through panic. After 20 mins or so, one of these free kicks on the right side about 5-10m away from the box led to a nice cross from Bas that cleared their front defenders (running after Paul), to Dave Leigh to try and flick it into goal but only for it to bounce/glance off Jeppe and over the line! 1-0 to the good guys and not undeserved to be honest!!

After that there were a few minutes of fighting defence as the Irish threw caution to the wind in an attempt to overcome their embarrassment, but uh-uh, no can do! We DID NOT LET THEM PAST!! A string of corners was the best effort they could manage, two shots over the bar, and when finally they managed a firmer shot from outside the box bouncing hard off the treacherous surface, Maza was up to task and parried it out to the right. No, they were not allowed to get back in the game. Even in the last 10 minutes when the "nine” could be forgiven for feeling weary from their epic efforts, it was in fact the "nine” who were the fresher to battle and the Irish who started to wilt. Timme continued to torture them at the back every time we blasted the ball forward to him (we frankly we did that a LOT of the time). Even with a broken spine "Spartan Dave” (formerly known by Private Eye as Dave Spart?), continued to hobble around the battlefield and cause trouble for them. Chief of the battles was that of Paul (Maori) Wrigley, against the evil Loki (aka Matt Willams), who was left splattered in the mud of Rosieres.

PREPARE FOR GLORY! The "nine” withstood all that the full 11 of the "Irlanders’ could throw at them and did NOT LET THEM SCORE…… no, not even content with that heroic performance, the "nine” went further still and WON THE MATCH 1-0 against all the odds. After an epic match came an even more epic MOM vote! Timme, Alex and Paul tied for the first vote, but MOM went to Paul Wrigley in the end for his tireless work in a reduced mid-field where we still managed to dominate. This was NOT a lucky win, this was a deserved win, and all the better being only the "nine” against a full Irish 11. As for the accursed Vets 2 players "abed in their tanning salons” and not present for this historic victory…. They will have to demonstrate to Bas the Mighty that they are of the right stuff to be admitted to the ‘special’ ranks of the "nine”.

Reporter: Alex Knott

(Did anybody notice it was 9 versus 11?: Editor)