Line-up: Puig, Rossi, Bon, Gunter (Skoniezki), Takeda (Wetzel), Friedrichs (Legere), Lo Presti, McGirr, Pellegry, Lambers (Gary), Deschamps.

The clash between RBBFC and Pharma took place after a week emotionally very difficult for many RBBFC’s players. Our Great Leader, El Capitano, unilaterally decided to apply a brand new rule to the team: who does not show up to trainings is on the bench. This unexpected decision led many of the players who did not go to training in a very unstable psychological condition. Every player took therefore actions to avoid the unavoidable (bench!). To show commitment to the team and impress El Capitano, Pellegry opened an Instagram page named "eatsensible” with pictures of the secret of "why [Pellegry] can still run so much”. The boy from MiddleSex (Allez Ali!!!) used a different strategy: he proposed his girlfriend to intervene to solve the problem (we are still waiting to better understand his proposal, in particular Gunter). The two above strategies were successful and the two players made their way back in the first-11. Another player (still unknown) decided to use this occasion to send messages to El Capitano stating the undeniable truth: El Capitano is a great man and we all love him very much. Nobody knows if this player made it to the first-11. But what we all know is that someone broke Dex’s nose and Sylvain had to play with the first team to replace him. This last-minute reshuffling opened up a free spot in defense. 1+1 equals 2 and The Priest Rossi was all of a sudden in the first-11. Is it a coincidence? Who did actually break Dex’s nose?

While these team dynamics were taking place, ABBSA top management fully recognized the importance of the game and decided to appoint for it one of the most experienced referees, the equivalent of Collina for Belgian referees. In fact, this was his second game of an extremely long career that started the same afternoon a few hours before. Having on one side a bunch of psychologically unstable butchers and on the other side a freshman in the referee world… well, it was just a too explosive mix. But we will come back to this later.

Despite the above, RBBFC started the game (after an amazing and inspiring Capitano’s speech) with the ambition to get the f* three points, make as many "crűss” as possible and continue to run for the title. To be honest, this ambition only materialized after 20 minutes. Before that, RBBFC’s performance was at least disappointing. At their first real chance Pharma managed to score (as usual a very lucky goal). After a long pass well stopped by El Capitano the ball bounced on The Priest’s knee which deflected it to the head of the Pharma attacker. He just had to lift his 234kg by 3 cm and push the ball in the net. 0-1. What happened after is not very clear. The most powerful exercise in history of mobbing/lobbying/threatening/black mailing took place against the referee. The Priest, BonBon, Guarnaccia and El Capitano put into practice what they learnt in their years in Southern Europe (using incredibly weak arguments… "off-side”, "foul”, "it’s raining”, "f you ref”) and led the referee to an incredible decision: the goal is not on anymore, it is disallowed (not clear why)! No actually not. Pharma’s lobbyists are also very good and the goal is back again ("c’est sifflé, désolé”). 0-1 SHIIIT.

The good news is that RBBFC finally woke up. The Priest decided to celebrate this by showing in practice to Pharma’s number 10 that in a perfect tackle the defender must hit the opponent’s ankles, knees, hips, soul and maybe also the ball. Surprisingly the referee whistled a foul for Pharma but decided to give a well-deserved yellow card to Pharma’s number 19. The Priest can continue to say that he has never been booked for a foul (#zeroyellowcardsthisseason).

If there was a symbol of RBBFC waking up, this would definitely be our young boy from Middlesex. A few minutes after the goal conceded, AllezAli McGirr found himself well positioned to shoot on goal. Perfect execution but unlucky outcome: he hit the post. However, in MiddleSex people grow up with only one certainty in life: nobody ever gets a third chance. Our young boy from MiddleSex knows this very well and at the second attempt (from the same position) he designed a perfect trajectory to the second post. 1-1 ALLEZALI!!!

RBBFC was on fire and Flamby almost scored the second goal after an amazing run on the right wing by "SexyShin" Takeda. A few centimeters lower and the shot would have been in. Flamby was however not concerned, he has also grown up with the same belief of the people from MiddleSex. Flamby already knew what was coming in the second half. Flamby is serious.

Well, maybe Flamby did not expect RBBFC’s defense to allow Pharma to score after 1 minute from the beginning of the second half. Still now RBBFC’s defenders are blaming each other "it was your man”, "no it was your man”, "I did not see him coming”. The only certain thing is that he scored. 1-2 "F**K”.

From this moment on RBBFC decided that it was time to put an end to Pharma’s dreams of being promoted to first division. Wetzel, Gary and Legere brought new energies to the team (Legere's energies finished actually by the time he reached his position on the pitch from the bench). Unfortunately, El Valdanito Deschamps is from Brussels and not from Middlesex. People from Brussels perfectly know that they will have a fourth and fifth chance. And eventually Diego Claudino will let them score 4-5 goals in one game at the end of the season. This is the reason why our 2015/2016 Pichichi missed three clear chances to score one after the other. If our Bomber does not score, then Flamby knows exactly what needs to be done. In ten minutes he scored two goals. The first one after a magic assist by the Middlesexer. The second one by taking advantage of a moment of chaos in Pharma’s box. 2-2 FLAMBYYYYY. 2-3 FLAMBYYYYY. GRAAAAANDE FLAAAAAAAMBY!!!!!!

A win is not perfect if there are no last-minute risks. A long ball from Pharma’s defense triggered one of the best duels of the game: a breathtaking sprint race between XLBonBon and the Pharma attacker. A battle that won’t be forgotten. NASA has tried to measure the speed of the sprint and it seems that the two opponents reached a maximum speed of 3,97 km/h. Unfortunately for RBBFC, the Pharma attacker prevailed and found himself one-to-one with our amazing and great <3 Capitano which made a decisive save. Puig does not concede goals in the last minutes, Puig is serious.

In the last minutes there was still time for Pat "We will have two new heroes” Skoniezki to further increase his number of games played for the club. Nobody knows how much he still has to pay in flight tickets before taking home the priceless Club’s diploma!

The game then finished in the most natural way: RBBFC getting the three points and taking revenge on Pharma for the undeserved defeat in the first leg.

Besides the above, this game will be remembered for many other things: Andrea’s moderate reaction to a foul "v*o s**o”, StefMedel Friedrichs got fouled for the first time in his football career and SexyShin got a new song. A special mention to Mineo "So High” whom followed the team from the bench but miserably failed in his only task to keep the time. KissKiss to everybody!

MoM and reporter: Simone "The Priest" Rossi